The War Began With Windows…

The Kleins across the road have had their windows redone. I hope they realise that this means war.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if they’d have just accepted defeat months ago. We had all of our windows redone- which means they must be well and truly out of ideas- and they still look better. Of, Carlton knows some reliable aluminium window fitters in Melbourne, so we had the job done in a jiffy. The fact that our home is directly facing the Kleins across the road is just happenstance; we can’t help it if our family home is nicer than theirs.

Claudia Klein just kept staring out the window with the most aggressive looks, until one day they had their entire garden landscaped. Oh, and I know it wasn’t something they were planning, despite what Claudia was trilling at the cul-de-sac garden party in February. They did it just so they could make pithy attempts to keep up. Well, I had to respond in kind; to do anything else would be to admit defeat to that bleach-blond housewife. The aluminium windows weren’t getting any better than they already were, so I had to enlist the aid of some window specialists to put in some feature glass, and also I had the brickwork resurfaced.

Any respectable opponent would’ve admitted defeat, but Claudia only went and convinced her husband to have the driveway resurfaced, so now the asphalt shines like the sun to all who visit. Fast-forward several months, and now it’s sash windows. For shame! I’m forced to admit that they look very nice, but they’d look even nicer on our house, perhaps to compliment the kitchen extension and the extra floor we added.

And why remain stagnant? Aluminium windows are so January. It’s all about the timber doors now, so timber door replacement will be the pride of the home from now on. Maybe then, Claudia will finally see sense and just admit our home will always be nicer.