Making Myself Impressive, for Five Minutes

Alright, so I have to change my story, and I’m opening things up in the comments in case anyone has any suggestions. See, I’ve been speed dating for a while…not for any real strong reason, it’s just sort of an addiction. I know that sounds unorthodox, but really, I just like the social interaction without any strings attached. Usually when people say ‘no strings attached’, they actually mean ‘some strings, just not as many as usual’. But with speed dating…ding, you’re off. Ding, you’re off again. It’s great fun. Meet new and interesting people, then never talk to them again!

Except I’ve kinda been telling people in the speed dating circles that I’m a renowned psychologist, and people are starting to catch on that the age of 22 is probably too young to be renowned. So I’m thinking…marine welder. Oh yeah. I actually know a bit about Melbourne’s stainless steel marine welding industry, since my friend did a project on it at school. I sneezed on him to give him my flu on the day we were supposed to present, then secretly copied everything he did and presented it as my own, and I still remember a little bit.

I know there’s such thing as underwater welding, which makes sense because sometimes you need to do some welding on a boat, and it’s not like you can just get a mate to lift up a cruise ship while you tinker around underneath. One of those little car jack thingies, or a large-scale version, wouldn’t be able to plant itself because it’s underwater. So you do down in capsules and weld using little oxygen bubbles, and that is more than enough to pass myself off as a fine marine welder.

No offense meant to any actual marine welders. You do a great job. So great that I’m going to research what you do, your work with aluminium plate boats (they’re all the rage!) and pass myself off as one of your noble rank. And just hope this time that the girl I’m talking to isn’t in exactly the same line of work as the one I am claiming to be in…