Black Tie Blah

I can’t believe the awards dinner is tomorrow night! I can believe that I still have nothing to wear. I was all set to go with the burgundy velvet tux, but then Jeanette came out and said she’s wearing burgundy velvet, and there’s no way I’m matching with her of all people. My only option now is to try and get a generic suit tonight and drop it at a tailor in the morning.

Petra has been going on about how she’s found the perfect, classic black leather bag to go with her Simone Perret-Sanchez gown. It makes a change from going on about the gown itself; I mean, we know, Petra. You have wealthy in-laws who are connected to the Perret-Sanchez family. We got that the first time. And Emily has been having a daily lunchtime tantrum every day this week because the shoes she wants still haven’t come in.

Honestly, I don’t know why I have to be surrounded by these absolute drama queens. Why can’t they just be happy that it’s socially acceptable for them to wear evening gowns? At least they’re not saddled with a choice of precisely three different cuts of suit in six colour options, all of which have virtually the same subdued vibe – except for the burgundy, which is now off the table. Thanks for that, Jeanette.

I suppose I can go all seventies cowboy, and offset a brown suit with a soft leather shoulder bag. To buy such a thing at the last minute is really not my style – who knows what it’s going to look like under the stage lights? They can be truly unforgiving on human skin, making it look like leather, so what’s to say they won’t make leather look like animal skin? Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants that look.  

I think I will go for boho chic, though. Yes – a slightly flared pant leg alteration, pointy toed shoes and an ironic bolo tie. No, no… that’s far too casual. See what I mean? Back to square one!